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Terri Cole, licensed psychotherapist and author of Boundary Boss, has worked with CEOs, celebrities, and supermodels around the world. To be nice, be nice, was like being nice was like this virtue above all others, which is not the same as being truthful and not the same. This meant: I could for example go out of my way to help a distressed family member, if I consciously chose to do so instead of acting in response to a faulty blueprint (read: feeling burdened to help someone while abandoning my own priorities and consequently blaming and resenting the family member for not appreciating my effort to help them). Instead of having the options to define profiles, we are presented with a ‘Direction 1’ and ‘Direction 2’ Dialogue box.
Regardless of if this is true, the author is clearly still bitter about these situations and has not healed enough from them to deliver the story in a compassionate way, owning up to her own responsibility in the situation.I don’t love the whole thing with people being like, “You know, I’ll tell you the truth,” and I always feel like that’s someone who’s got a little sadistic streak and can’t wait to tell you how bad your new haircut is.
For over two decades, Terri has been working with clients and her special gift is taking complex psychological concepts and making them actionable and accessible. I think we did a little hunting around on the internet which is always precarious and you can’t ever really confirm that much. Becoming a Boundary Boss holds the potential to transform everything that’s not working in your life. And what I found through my own therapeutic process and then through being a therapist for many years is that I had a therapist, oh, my God, she was so amazing and brutal and awesome at the same time, Ruth.
You have the right to prioritize your self-care without feeling selfish, which is a huge one for women. needs a medal for "Excellence in Marketing" - selling women the story that they can do it all and have it all, leaving women exhausted trying to please everyone and themselves; while men get off lightly because they (poor things! So we have our own specific flavor to understand like, “Oh, it’s hard for me to say no because when I answered these questions about what did I observe growing up,” one of your parental impactors might have been someone who had the disease to please or who was very dependent on validation from outside.
But in what you remember and the emotional impression and the neural pathways, when your attention is somewhere else, you will not remember that experience in the same way. If youre getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss. So I think a lot of what we’re really talking about is how can we become discerning about how we give? If we look at the below image, we have generated 2 separate sketch lines that have been selected as curves in ‘Direction 2’, and are influencing the transition between the profiles that have been defined in ‘Direction 1’. You’ll start with the essential truths about boundaries and how they operate, then dive straight into potent exercises—including assessments, scripts, mindfulness, embodiment, gratitude, celebration, and more.
Most of those things are not like relationship ending, earth-shattering, but they’re still important that you know what they are and that where you can, you honor them. She gives a lot of tips and advice on how to set boundaries and overcome the setbacks of people crossing your boundaries. DIVE DEEPER: For 19 word-for-word scripts on setting boundaries, get my Ultimate Guide to Saying ‘NO’, then watch this conversation with Luvvie Ajayi Jones, another inspiring example of a Boundary Boss.
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